Government Free Day (In defense of cigars)

I propose #GovernmentFreeDay in response to the recent government announcement (made on #SmokeFreeDay) that it plans to introduce plain packaging for tobacco products in early 2017.

If it had be2016-05-12 12.17.14en cigarettes alone that had warranted the action (a mass-marketed, truly toxic and deadly pastime that is a clear burden on the taxpayer) I would get it. But they had to remind us we’re in the terminally uncultured antipodes didn’t they? They had to tar cigars with the same scornful brush.

Cigars are a craft item. A luxury item. A religious item. To smoke a good cigar is to pray. To create a holy space (holy meaning separate in the original Hebrew), a sanctuary where you can poke around in rooms in your mind you never knew existed. They are an indulgence – a glorious one – and as such are generally consumed infrequently. They pose a minor health risk that would fall well behind wine consumption in the middle classes.

Hitler’s appraisal of the Weimer republic was to call it a wasteland.

The push to destroy the cigar proves the complete aesthetic emptiness of the committed ideologue. The power hungry seldom can identify beauty. Hitler’s appraisal of the Weimer republic (an explosion of art and culture without which we wouldn’t have Hollywood) was to call it a wasteland.

So I propose #GovernmentFreeDay. This would be a day where fascist, bullying taxes and outright bans are dropped and adults are treated as adults and are left to make their own decisions.

#GovernmentFreeDay should coincide with the birthday of a defender of personal freedoms and would offer a good opportunity to teach our children that those who seek to ban things are generally nasty individuals who should be shot with balls of their own shit.